When most people hear the word intimacy, their minds go straight to the physical. But intimacy in marriage was never meant to live in one room alone. It’s spiritual, it’s emotional, and yes, it’s physical, but none of those pieces work well in isolation from the others.
Chapter 7, “Intimacy and Sex,” builds on exactly this idea. Within marriage, sex is presented as a gift from God, yet the chapter is clear that it represents only one dimension of closeness, not the whole of it. That difference carries real weight. When a couple leans entirely on physical connection to define their bond, that foundation tends to crack under pressure, whether it’s stress, illness, physical distance, or just the wear of time. Lasting intimacy demands roots that run deeper than the physical alone.
Talking About What Actually Matters
Chapter 7 encourages couples to have conversations many avoid out of discomfort or assumption. What does sexual intimacy actually mean to each partner? How important is it within the relationship? What expectations exist around frequency? Are there boundaries, past experiences, or concerns that deserve to be spoken instead of buried? These questions aren’t about creating awkwardness for its own sake. They’re about replacing guesswork with honesty.
Why Silence Creates Distance
So many couples enter marriage never having discussed intimacy openly, assuming it will simply work itself out once they’re together. Walden’s book challenges that assumption directly. Unspoken expectations tend to become silent tension, and silent tension has a way of turning into resentment or disconnect over time. Real closeness requires couples to talk about desire, comfort, and boundaries with honesty and grace, not avoidance.
A Sanctuary, Not a Performance
Perhaps the most generous shift Chapter 7 offers is this: intimacy isn’t a duty to perform or a box to check. It’s meant to be a place of safety, trust, and mutual respect, one built through communication as much as through physical connection.
If you and your partner have never truly talked about intimacy, beyond assumptions or unspoken expectations, Chapter 7 of 100 Questions to Ask Before Saying “I Do” is a good place to start. Because real intimacy was never just about the bedroom. It’s about the trust you build everywhere else, too.